End of Trip Summary

(Getting the Bike Ready for Transport)

I wanted to write another blog entry for people who might want to know how my trip is wrapping up. One friend wasn't sure where I was. I'm in Denver and have a flight back Tuesday afternoon. I am staying two nights with a friend of my brother's, Christina. I am feeling lucky and blessed by the kindness and skills of people I meet. Christina is not only a friend but an avid cyclist. Her dad is too and helped me box my bike. I got a bike box from a local store. It proved to be too small. Christina's parents have friends who own a bike shop. Even though it wasn't open they were in the shop and opened up a big box for me. Christina's dad and I got it in the box yesterday afternoon. How improbable it is that I'd meet people with these skills and resources.  

(Downtown Crawford, the end of my trip)

The ride from Crawford to Denver was with the owner of the Frontier Room Cafe where I ate lunch. I paid him to drive me, but I think he was being nice mainly. He wanted to leave that afternoon. I was surprised by how fast events were turning. I mentioned before I'm not religious, but it felt like something was forcing me into making a final you-can't-go-back decision. 

Ride secured, I needed to find a shop to box my bike. I thought this task would be easy because when I first thought about bailing in Casper, the guys at Mountain Sports said sure like it wasn't a big deal. I discovered that most shops in Denver are closed Sunday and booked weeks out. I found a shop that would give me a box on Sunday and planned to box it myself in a hotel room using YouTube as a guide. REI also had boxes in case that one didn't work out. 

Next, I had to find a hotel room and a flight. Both the local shop, Z Cycle Shop, and REI are with a few miles of downtown so I got a hotel for one night at the Holiday Inn Express near downtown.  

About this time Dalton, my ride, was ready to go. He's a young guy who's a good businessperson. I learned a lot about Crawford and his plans for the future. That drive ended up being one of the most interesting conversations of the trip ironically. During the ride Jesse texted me about his friend Christina. It was a massive relief to have a contact. It was too late to cancel the hotel and just plain late when Dalton and I got to Denver so I stayed at the hotel one night and rode the two miles to Christina's Sunday morning. 

I had met Christina once before when she visited Seattle. Jesse connected me with her back then. She'd recently moved back to Denver after twenty years in New York. I am amazed by her kindness and generosity.

(Mid-boxing)

It's now Monday morning. I'm hanging in Denver until tomorrow. It's beautiful here but I can't wait to get home. I learned how much I love my home. I'll take a few days to soak in being home, unpack my bike then head back to work. 

(Bike boxed)

Here ends my status. If you're interested in the psychological aspects of long distance bike travel with me as a case study, read on. I wrote this mainly for myself so you may find it self-absorbed. I'm still feeling a million different things at once and need to process. 

I don't regret stopping, but am still down that my romantized dream didn't match reality. I'm proud my 1800 miles but feeling defeated and unworthy compared to all the people I talked to who made it. I met so many people that said their cross country trip is a highlight of their lives that I thought "sign me up!" without a lot thought. The idea grabbed me like falling in love at first sight. It's only when you move in together that you realize you and your sweetheart are not compatible.

This is a great article on the tougher aspects of long bike trips - https://tomsbiketrip.com/planning-your-first-big-bike-trip-ask-yourself-these-7-critical-questions-first/. I thought I could answer yes to all the questions posed by the author, but it turns out I can't. Here are the questions long haul cyclists should be able to answer yes to:
Are you comfortable with your own company?
Can you tolerate discomfort?
Can I solve my own problems?
Do I like knowing what's going to happen?
Am I capable of living in the present?
Am I hoping for social recognition?
Can I deal with a major change of perspective?

The major factor is time. I could answer yes to all for days but not weeks or months. Number 1 and 2 were the big no's for me. 

I enjoy my own company, but grind on for weeks and I'm crawling the walls for people to connect with. I met cool people on the road, but it was often hello then goodbye. I realized that many interactions were friendly but superficial and became routine. I spent a lot of time by myself. If I was put in solitary confinement I'd be insane in a week. It's hard being alone in a wide open space even if it's beautiful. It's even harder if you don't have a friend to meet at the end of the day 

I thought I could deal with discomfort compared to most Americans, but I found I've grown used to my creature comforts. I love my fancy pour over coffee and leisurely book reading with it. I like the sound of rain when I'm inside and warm. I don't like to sweat, especially when there's no shower at the end of the day. With a few exceptions, most of the ride featured perfect weather. When I hit less ideal weather I realized how much I don't like being out in bad weather. That's what hit me in the face in Alcova and Casper. I was afraid of the wind. Quitting hit me as an idea literally walking back to my hotel in Caper because I felt trapped by the weather report.

When the trip was new I could put up with myself and some discomfort, but as time wore on the novelty wore off. I rallied and overcame my dread of the wind in Casper, but once I did I realized pedaling through it and rain, and heat would be a grind. I dreaded the potential discomfort. I began riding very early to beat the wind and heat. The ride became a race against the clock. I stopped stopping. That turned the ride from a fun ramble of discovery into a slog. 

Because of t he e early starts, I was also getting into town/camp very early. I had a lot of downtime in places without a lot of distractions. I got tired of eating my camper food or bar & grill food. The schedule got routine. I felt like a drifter wandering through town. I was a drifter wandering through town! 

As I faced the likelihood that this situation wasn't going to change (outside of Warmshowers hosts who are great), I decided continuing wasn't for me. I felt like I could keep on, but just didn't want to. As much as I imagined dipping my front wheel in the Atlantic, I realized that it's about the journey and the journey wasn't going as I'd expected. It's good to test your personal limits, but when you do you sometimes exceed them. I was feeling trapped into moving forward even though I didn't want to. I'm glad I found a way to change the trajectory and exercise choice. Of course I got very lucky because of Christina and her family, otherwise this exit would have been a lot more awkward. I feel blessed to have met a lot of wonderful people. 

I don't know what the future holds for me and bike touring. I want to do more, but I'll stick with shorter trips and/or supported rides. I will have to change the name of the blog post facto. I'm thinking of JTTMOA or Journey to the Middle of America.

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