D End

I have decided to end the trip early. I realize that's probably a surprise. I was having fun right up until I wasn't. Even today in the coffee shop I felt ready to go on, but then something flipped as a biked to my first sad, cheap motel in wind that threatened to blow me over. At 1:30 I was making plans to stay with a Warmshowers host in Nebraska and at 2:30 I decided to call it quits. It was just a gut feeling that continuing wasn't right for me. I called Kisho, Hisako, and my brother Jesse. I lost my stuff when I talked to Jesse. I realized I have a major phobia about wind. When I was in a typhoon in the Peace Corps on a small atoll, the roof blew off the house I was in sending jagged pieces of metal into the house. I thought I might die. So wind really, really scares me when I'm out in it. But I can't blame the wind entirely. I know it's transatory. So what else is it? I'm not sure because I have been enjoying myself. Jesse wisely advised to not analyze. I enjoyed the trip I had right up to when I realized I wasn't and probably wouldn't anymore. I saw wild horses yesterday as I quietly rolled by. It was a magic moment. The trip was worth every mile. 

Still, I'm sad and feel like I let people down who, much to my surprise were interested and inspired by what I considered a selfish thing to do. I am sorry, I couldn't pull through for you. I hope you meet others who will fire your imagination and fulfill it's promise. The people I met on this trip were the best part. Thanks to you all. It was my pleasure to know you.

So how does it end? I'm going to rent an SUV that can fit my bike. I'm not sure where I'll go. I want to see Kisho. I could drive to Canton, NY where he is or I could drive home and fly out to meet him. There's a rodeo in Casper I'm stuck here until Thursday. I have a day to think. I just know that the wind rattling the door of room 129 at the Sage and Sand Motel doesn't seems as ominous now. 

I'll leave you with one more picture:
(Another banana peel from yesterday)




Comments

  1. TeyJune 14, 2022 at 7:02 PM

    I am proud of you TJ. Trust your gut.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kate HJune 14, 2022 at 7:04 PM

    Sorry to hear you’re ending your trip, TJ! But it sounds like you’ve got a good mindset about it and a good plan to keep having fun. Stay safe out there. Semper Gumby!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 14, 2022 at 8:06 PM

    You are not letting anyone down! I felt this way when I left Chuuk (and still do sometimes). But as many wise friends have told me, you still inspired and knowing it’s ok to change plans makes it more realistic. We love you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJune 14, 2022 at 9:49 PM

    You made a wise decision TJ. You know yourself well enough to make the right decision at the right time so you should be proud of that and know that there is no shame in this! It sounds like it was a great trip. Based on your post, there are still some things to look forward to. Let have a beer when you return! I want to hear more!

    ReplyDelete
  5. KensterJune 15, 2022 at 7:32 AM

    TJ ... What an amazing adventure and an amazing accomplishment. Never forget that its about the journey regardless of where it ends. You pushed yourself further and ventured further that most of us could have done. For that you have my respect and admiration. A tip of the hat and congrats TJ.

    ReplyDelete
  6. SophiaJune 15, 2022 at 8:06 AM

    TJ we are with you no matter what! You have definitely accomplished a marvelous feat! An amazing adventure. You met wonderful human beings along the way. Still inspiring even more so now than ever.

    ReplyDelete
  7. MikeJune 15, 2022 at 8:57 AM

    Congratulations on achieving over 1.5k miles on your trusty steed Gunnar! To be precise (by my calculations) 1,554.6 miles by bicycle across some of the roughest, toughest terrain in North America. (Aside from the occasional hot tub, latte cart, boutique bakery and honky-tonk/fern-bar.)

    This is the End of the Beginning . . . NOT the other way around . . .

    ReplyDelete
  8. ErikaJune 15, 2022 at 10:03 AM

    This just proves again how adventurous and wise you are. Many people would not recognize the point when an experience did not serve them anymore - that in itself is an inspiration.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Curry MayerJune 15, 2022 at 10:12 AM

    Hi TJ, you have not failed in any way, you have simply altered the nature of your adventure, based on the circumstances, like any good, smart emergency manager would do! Kudos for your amazing feat and for making courageous decisions! Very inspired by your adventure. Safe travels.

    ReplyDelete
  10. sandraJune 15, 2022 at 11:13 AM

    What an amazing experience you have shared with all of us. Thank you. I look forward to photos be it Seattle, Canton, or wherever. May the Force stay with you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. TJ McDonaldJune 15, 2022 at 2:34 PM

    Thanks for all the love and encouragement in these comments and sent privately. It really means a lot to me.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJune 15, 2022 at 6:09 PM

    Hey TJ, no need to hang your head. As other's have mentioned, we have enjoyed your chronicles and been inspired by your spirit. A journey is not where it ends but where it takes you (and what you take from it)! Looking forward to hearing more.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJune 17, 2022 at 3:34 AM

    TJ, you are a classic and I’m proud of every mile you rode. Great call. No sense doing something that does not bring you joy. Hope your time with Kisho and Jesse goes great. Trying to recall the exact Chris McCandless quote but but I think it’s, “Happiness is only real when shared.” Hope you and I can ride one day soon. Dave

    ReplyDelete

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